Making the Years Golden

Hats off to AARP for debunking another myth about retired people.  The conventional wisdom about the way retirement affects married couples goes something like this:  Once the husband and wife find themselves stuck in each other’s company every minute of every day, they drive each other crazy and fretfully yearn to return to work.  Independent researchers for AARP - The Magazine did a phone survey of more than 1,00 retirees between the ages of 55 to 75 years old.  What they discovered is that relationships remained as strong as they had been or became even stronger once these people retired.  In fact, 74 percent of the respondents said they were happier in retirement than they had been when they were working.  A second honeymoon but with a different twist from the first.  This time around, however, the joy of sex seems to be replaced by the joys of traveling, eating out, exercising, volunteering, pursuing their hobbies and what else, but surfing the Internet.  Go figure, reaching the big “O” is now replaced with shopping on-line at the big “O.”

It’s not that as we age we loose interest in sex.  According to Sallie Foley, Director of the Center for Sexual Health at University of Michigan Health Systems, two factors that inhibit the desire for sex are poor health and depression.  She believes that both can be overcome and to stave off these problems, it is important to  exercise, and “change up” your sexual pattern.  One important fact the survey discovered about sex is that more than three-fourths of the survey respondents said they are as romantic as they had been before retirement, while twelve percent said retirement made them even more romantic.  Maybe it is because thirty percent said that they actually argue over domestic problems less.  Or, maybe some of it has to do with getting out from under the stress of the jobs we left.  Either way, the survey  emphasised that people are returning to a time in their relationships when they are getting to know each other all over again.   They have the time to date and enjoy each other’s company.  They do things together that they mutually like to do like travel or eating out. 

The key factor that seems to lead to such a rewarding time happens more often when both spouses decide to retire together and help each other through this transition, which is why it is so important for spouses to talk, and talk often, prior to taking this big step.  You need to sit down together and visualize what your retirement is going to look like.  Make a Bucket List.  Start keeping a journal and take the time to share with your partner.  You need to talk about your expectations, your fears and your frustrations and accept the fact that your partner also might have fears and expectations.  Before you take the retirement step, it is important that both parties are in equal agreement.  If you address these issues prior to retirement, it will help make the transition into the next phase of your life much easier.  Retirement years are the golden years, but only if you want them to be.’; //leave this line

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