Two Ways to Age

In my goal to be totally organized before the year’s end, I spent this morning sorting through old photographs; reminiscing over some and baffled by others. What caught my eye for the first time however, are the pictures of my grandmother.   When I was a child, I never thought of her as being old and yet, every picture I have of her is of a shriveled up little white-haired woman. I remember her as a hard-working, farmer’s wife; one who always had time to tell me stories or let me help her gather eggs from the chicken coop.  My memories are not of how she looked, but of the way she treated me and the time she spent with me. They are good memories with the “world’s best grandma” and I treasure them.   I think of her in comparison with some of the elderly women I know now.  This made me realize that there are two types of elderly people: old ones who live their age, and gently-aging citizens who really enjoy life.  {smartads}As a baby boomer, I must admit, I don’t relate to those ”old” people very well, but I do get a kick out of gently-aging citizens and want to be a member of their elite club.There are certain traits that distinguish an old person from a gently-aging citizen.  What you see in restaurants is a good example of the differences. Gently-aging people enjoy a variety of foods, appreciate being waited on, and tip their servers appropriately. While they dine, they make eye contact and engage in conversation, sometimes even daring to flirt.  However, old people seem to be obsessed with buffets and tip like it’s still 1958. I don’t know if it is the “all-you-can-eat” aspect, the cheap price, or both of the above, but the whole dining out ambiance gets lost in the soup-and-salad bar, vegetables soaking in greasy lukewarm water, and the employee at the end of the mega-bar ready to slice off a slab of ham and slap it on their plate. And instead of sharing conversation and a decadent desert around the table,  old people rush through their  meal with little or no conversation and hurry off to the dessert bar and the option of vanilla, chocolate, or a swirl from the soft serve ice cream machine of both.  Is this what they have spent all those years working so hard for?

I have also found that old people must get up early in the morning and be in bed by 9 p.m at night.  They don’t let themselves enjoy the luxury of lulling in bed in the morning or staying up late to watch an old movie on TV.  And they definitely can’t stay up late playing cards with the neighbors or celebrating a birthday.  Even though they are retired, they still let the clock run their lives.  After rising so many mornings at 5:30 a.m., sleeping in once in a while is an inexpensive luxury that can be very revitalizing. 

Frugality is definitely a defining characteristic of old people. Old people (even when they have the money) will buy a generic brand when they really prefer the name brand. I made the mistake of buying generic catsup once and believe me, there is no comparison to the name brand. But when you’re “old,” the few pennies saved is more important than the taste. I understand the limits of living on a fixed budget but quality still trumps quantity.  Gently-aging citizens understand the joy of creature comforts. By the time we get to this age, we should know how to budget without having to make little sacrificing.

You can also tell old people by their choice in clothing.  Either they choose the same clothes they have been wearing for thirty years and they are now too tight or too short, or they dress in baggy, stretched out clothing that is stained or is a weird color. You know that they have nice cloths hanging in their closet, but they are saving these cloths for something special.  What can be more special than waking up in the morning and finding that you are still alive?  Gently-aging citizens understand that dressing is an extension of their personalities as well as a way to make them feel alive.

But I think the most distinguishing feature that separates old people from gently-aging citizens is that old peope have lost the love of learning.  They are afraid that they might make a fool of themselves if they try something new or invoke the disgust of those around them.  Gently-aging citizens understand that living life is more about continuing to learn and less about impressing those around them.  So what if you make a mistake now and then?  You are old enough to have earned the chance to laugh at yourself.  Gently-aging citizens have never lost curiosity or the chance to enjoy a laugh and they surround themselves with friends and family who encourage them to stay young. 

It really isn’t about how we look.  It’s about how we live each day and how we treat others. We have the choice to be a member of the old people club or to belong to the gently-aging citizen group.  I think that if the old people knew that it’s a conscious choice, they would choose differently.  What do you think?’; //leave this line

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